


cat parents

by dearmyjaem



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Angst, Angst and Romance, Bittersweet Ending, Cat Parents, Childhood Friends, Emotional Manipulation, Falling In Love, Feels, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentioned Huang Ren Jun, Romance, Slow Burn, jaemjen - Freeform, just major jaemjen, nomin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26528827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearmyjaem/pseuds/dearmyjaem
Summary: “Jeno look,” Jaemin started softly.“It’s a star… a shooting star too, Jeno. See? Not all the stars are in my eyes, there are many, many more stars you didn’t see because you were too busy looking into mine.”or : Jaemin and Jeno live in two separate buildings, a cat mooches off the both of them - they unexpectedly become cat parents and fall in love somewhere along the way
Relationships: Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 20
Kudos: 50





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> here's a playlist i created for this au, which i highly recommend to listen while reading~! [Cat Parents](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5z8r2eS6E4QP624ybGph7z?si=b_T8Y2wrR36VXL5Fxnqd5w)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i received a prompt about a cat mooching off two people who don't even know they're feeding the same cat but end up finding out their parents of the same cat and then they fall in love without knowing each other names :D

"You’re so pretty, what a pretty baby… do you have a home? Shall I adopt you? Hm?” The pink haired boy cooed softly at the kitten that was padding along his balcony a few minutes ago. His fingers were furiously tapping away at the keyboard, his brows furrowed as he concentrated on his game. After hearing a scratch at the glass, his eyes fell on a tiny ball of fluff staring right back at him through its huge black orbs. His heart clenched and he automatically walked towards the door and slid it open for the cat to enter.

“Cute... you’re so cute… but how did you come all the way up here?” He picks up the kitten, cradling it like you would to a baby; the ball of fluff shivered in his arms, fur dripping wet from the thunderstorm that ended a few minutes ago.

“No tag or collar huh… you must have been one of those stray kittens living nearby… well it’s alright, I’m here. For you.”

He smiles gently towards it and brings it into the bathroom without much of a struggle as the kitten stayed perfectly still in his arms. Turning on the shower with one hand, he starts to adjust the temperature of the water while hugging the kitten close to him to share the warmth of his body.

_Cute._

After giving the kitten a warm bath, the pink-haired boy picked it up again and coos with a voice that dripped honey. He praised the kitten for being so obedient and dried its fur, before setting it down on his bed. He set crossed legged from across the kitten and stared into its eyes.

_Luckily for me, she didn’t bite…_

"Hello? I’m Jaemin and from now onwards, I’ll be your new owner… let’s get along well, Luna.”

Jaemin smiles and buries his nose into Luna’s fur, sniffing the clean smell of Johnson’s baby shampoo he had used to wash her clean – because apparently to Jaemin, anything smaller than him was cute and needed to be protected – like a baby.

She spent the days with Jaemin, often providing the companionship he needed desperately. He provided her with a roof over her head, tins of premium cat food – because to him Luna deserves the best and nothing less – as well as frequent hugs and kisses which he often was more than happy to give. However, Luna would disappear from time to time and occasionally he would find her back at the balcony, which was also the rooftop of his apartment. Jaemin had always wondered where she went to, but never did it cross the boy's mind that she could have been somewhere else, perhaps to another apartment. 

_ 

“What a sight for sore eyes…” Jeno sighed as he looked at the pink haired boy from his balcony yet again.

His gaze was locked on the boy opposite from him as the breeze caressed the boy’s face, his hair ruffled in the wind and he picked up the cat once again, cooing softly at it and nuzzling it’s face into the cat’s warm fur. Despite having an allergy, Jeno kept on wanting to come close to the fluffy white ball that was now in the boy’s arms. Or maybe he wanted to come close to the pretty boy instead. The pretty boy that played with the same cat on the rooftop everyday since the first days of spring, the pretty boy that always seem to catch Jeno's attention, the pretty boy that Jeno kept wanting to get closer to. 

Jaemin’s well-defined jaw caught Jeno’s attention, pink hair ruffling ever so gently in the warm breeze of spring as the wind combed her hand through his pink locks. His eyes sparkled with joy, his laughter was melody to Jeno's ears – but every time they made eye contact, Jeno would turn away and wished the thoughts that he had of Jaemin would soon become reality. Strangers they were, but Jeno was so easily attracted. Jaemin radiated love and warmth – two things Jeno lacked the most. He made frequent trips to the rooftop, directly opposite from Jaemin's, too. Jeno felt like a creep for staring at Jaemin but to be honest, Jaemin was just _that_ alluring and he happened to catch Jeno's attention every single time without fail. 

The first time when Jeno saw Jaemin on the rooftop, he was playing with Luna as usual, stroking her whilst lying down under the warm sunlight that caressed his cheek. His eyes were shut, his body relaxed. Jeno had come to the roof top as well to get some fresh air he had so desperately needed after being cooped up for such a long time. While trying to adjust his focus on his surroundings, he had spotted Jaemin, who was lying peacefully. Perhaps it was the way Jaemin smiled at him, or maybe it was his tender actions that made Jeno's ears burn. Whatever it was, it made Jeno want to run away desperately and at the same time, it made him want to stay. He hated this feeling of course, it was all so new to him. The more Jeno craved to get closer to Jaemin, the more time Jaemin spent occupying a part of his mind. A part of Jeno wanted to stay as strangers, or neighbours, but the other was screaming at him to make a move before it's too late. 

With his eyes glued on the dazzling smile that Jaemin had on his face, he forced himself to tear his eyes away from him and slapped himself back to reality.

_I seem to keep on wanting to run towards you, but is it even normal for me to feel this way, when I barely even know your name?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> say hello my first au hehe ^^ do leave a kudos and a comment!! and thank you for giving this a read ❤️️


	2. 02

“Oh my god I’m late I’m late!” Jeno exclaimed as he haphazardly shoved his feet into his black shoes, before slinging his bag over his shoulder. It was the first time Jeno was late anyway, all because he decided to shut off the noisy alarm that was blaring in the early hours of the dawn. Jeno barely ate any breakfast on the daily, so he still had some time before he had to make his way to school.

He fumbled for his keys and left a small crack of the door open – for the stray kitten that visited every now and then – as well as a can of cat food. But just today, he wished that the kitten he loved so much could stay longer. Despite his allergy of cats, he still looked at it like it was his whole world and probably the only thing that kept him sane. Jeno hadn’t really picked a name for the cat, given that it had just came by to nap on his balcony a few days ago. Ever since that accident, the little one had just been napping there in the sun, only occasionally ever coming up to him to rub against his leg. Jeno loved every single second he spent with the cat of course – coupled with the fact that it had reminded him of his pink-haired neighbour – they were something only he could admire from afar, something he couldn’t stay for long with. Of course, stubborn as Jeno was, he found many ways to ease the allergy symptoms so he could get close to the kitten, like taking medicine whenever he knew he was going to spend time with her. However Jeno was probably not that stubborn as to want to find many ways to get closer with the pink haired boy, after all he looked like a masterpiece in a museum to Jeno, he was so afraid of coming close to Jaemin. What if he got hurt in the process of it? What if he ends up hurting the other? Or worse – what if they grew so inseparable so much that they could not picture each other out of the frame of their future? If only he could be a little bit braver, just a little braver so he could take the first step to painting their mirage of a relationship. The one he had pictured. Not like Jeno knew what was pulling him so desperately to Jaemin, he only knew that this force of attraction was not something he could control. But it was something he wanted to fall deeper into, spiralling downwards into a dangerous thing called love. Heck, Jeno didn’t even know the name of the pink haired boy that threw him into a frenzy whenever he flashed that angelic smile – not to him of course.

Jeno was so immersed in his thoughts that he was not even paying attention, he only knew that he had to keep walking, he had to keep walking before he was even later for his class. But still, the image of Jaemin playing with a kitten at the rooftop could never get out of his head. A museum in his head only framed with Jaemin’s heart-throbbing smile.

No, not heart throbbing… heart wrenching.

Every single thought he had of Jaemin tugged at his heartstrings. It was so painful but he craved more of it. The more he thought about it, the more riled up he became. Since when did calm and composed Jeno ever felt like this? Sure it was painful but this pain was something that suddenly felt real of course, because the two of them ended up colliding into each other.

_Perfect. At this rate, I’m never gonna get to the academy._

He groaned and looked up, lamenting under his breath about some pink haired boy and being late.

“Hey I’m so sorry… you alright?”

_Holy shit, no I’m not._

His eyes… were every single shade of brown Jeno could have ever imagined, a raw caramel and umber mix, dotted with spirals of earthy brown, colliding with honey droplets. They sparkled with humour and playfulness that gave Jeno shivers – but wraps him up in a warm embrace all at the same time. Those eyes he had never had the chance to see up close, were now just inches from his face. Concern was written all over his face, brows furrowed. His hair lazily ruffled, the pink strands haphazardly pushed back and ran his hands through them for the umpteenth this morning. He extended a hand towards Jeno who was shamelessly staring back at him. Mouth agape, Jeno could swear that Jaemin definitely was way, way more alluring than he originally thought.

Heat rushed to his ears and he grabbed Jaemin’s hand to hoist himself back on his feet.

“I’m alright.”

_That was a lie._

“Sorry, I had many things on my mind and wasn’t paying attention to where I was going,”

_Me too._

"Yeah," Jeno could only choke out a single syllabus. 

_Really?_

"See you around," He smiled and dropped his hand, before turning around.

_Don't go._

"You too," Jeno replied.

_And I mean it this time._

_

Jaemin had forced himself awake after not feeling the warmth of Luna’s fur sharing his body heat on the same bed. He groaned and sat up, blindly floundering his arms to aim for the snooze button of the alarm clock that was blaring in his ears a little too loudly. He didn’t have any lessons whatsoever, he just wanted to head to the café to grab a cup of strong coffee. Jaemin was leisurely walking while trying to adjust the music that blasted from his airpods and being so caught up in it that he didn’t even realize someone else walking into him. These few days had been a little harder on him as he didn’t see the cat he had loved so much whenever his eyes fluttered open to greet the morning sun rays. Luna would come and go as she pleased and occasionally disappear for half a day.

“Hey, I’m so sorry… are you alright?” Jaemin extended his hand forward to the brunette that was in front of him. The boy that he had bumped into now was sitting on the ground, puppy eyes staring right back at him. Maybe not the best way to greet a neighbour but definitely it would leave a lasting impression to the both of them. He hesitated to reach his hand out, thinking that it might be a little weird for a stranger to do so. But before he could retreat his hand, the boy had already grabbed it like his life depended on it.

_He looks so gentle, but his grip definitely says otherwise._

He was pretty of course, the boy definitely was. Jaemin was sure he had asked if the boy was alright, and even though the boy said he was, his eyes definitely told a different story. Jaemin couldn’t let him just go like that, for some reason he felt attracted like a magnet to the brunette. He tried to come out with something intelligent, but how could he when the pretty boy in front of him sent sparks down his spine? 

“I’m alright”

_Was that a lie?_

“Sorry, I had many things on my mind and wasn’t paying attention to where I was going,” Jaemin hoped this might extend into a conversation, even though the boy was rushing.

_Talk to me._

"Yeah," Even his voice made sparks travel up Jaemin’s spine and he was more intrigued with the boy standing in front of him. They were of the same height too, perfect.

_So he’s a pretty boy with a pretty voice huh._

"See you around," Jaemin smiled towards him and dropped his hand, the boy reminding him of a puppy.

_Don't go._

"You too," He replied.

_Stay with me._

The meeting between the two boys was fate; becoming friends would be a choice they had to make. Falling in love? Was bound to happen. Jeno was the one that kept Jaemin grounded to reality, Jaemin was the one that gave Jeno warmth and comfort. Jeno was the one Jaemin would die a thousand times for. Jaemin was the one Jeno would love a thousand times for. Over and over again, through this lifetime and the next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't you just love it when they!


	3. 03

“Happy,” for Jaemin, was a relative term. He saw what it took for the rich to be happy, yet for the poor it was just a slice of stale bread and shelter for the night, a place to rest their weary body. Happy was something that elevated the spirit, lifted one from the mire of whatever was deemed as “normal”. Maybe that was why he had noticed Jeno. Jaemin had an inner happiness, one utterly independent of the outside world. He always smiled like it burst from within, instead of being worn like an obligation in the way others did. Yet at the same time, after meeting Jeno, he couldn’t stop thinking about him. It wasn’t because of the way he looked at him, puppy eyes filled with curiosity. They barely knew each other and that was their first and only encounter but Jaemin kept on playing that scene over and over in his brain. Jaemin wanted to make Jeno happy. He wanted to see Jeno smiling, he wanted Jeno to only have happy days; to only listen to pretty things, to only hear pretty things. More than anything else in the world, Jaemin wanted to be closer to Jeno. He had noticed the brunette from his balcony as Jeno would occasionally go there to seek for a breath of fresh air.

Today as they had met, Jaemin was able to see Jeno up close. He was curious about Jeno of course, he didn’t like Jeno or anything, Jeno was just so pretty to him that Jaemin couldn’t keep him out of his mind. After that encounter with Jeno, Jaemin decided to retreat back to his apartment instead.

Pushing the café door open, Jaemin held the cup of coffee in his hand and a collar he had just bought for Luna – in case she ran off and he couldn’t find her anymore. These days, Luna kept on disappearing – even more often now and she would come back whenever she deemed fit. Jaemin didn’t mind that at all of course, but sometimes he wondered where she would go and he wondered if Luna was still trying to adapt to being under Jaemin’s care. It has only been a week since he decided to take her under his wing and they were just getting to know each other better. Buying a collar for Luna would be better of course, so she could be recognisable that she was no longer a stray but someone’s cat and also because Luna was still young and Jaemin did not want her to get hurt whenever she wasn’t at his apartment.

Jaemin walked into the elevator door and pushed the cold metal buttons, thinking about what he should do to pass the time before his classes at the college started. Just as the doors were closing, Jaemin sighed and looked up, only to see a pair of familiar brown eyes staring right back at him. They held eye contact for a while and Jaemin felt a sense of déjà vu engulfing him once more. The metal doors slid shut and he was all alone in the lift again, accompanied with a head filled with so, so many unanswered questions.

_It’s him. I’m sure it’s definitely him._

The image of Jeno staring wordlessly back at him with an ambiguous expression burned into his mind. Those puppy eyes filled with an emotion Jaemin couldn’t quite decipher, yet it made him desperate to know more. He instinctively punched the buttons open in a feeble attempt to open the doors once more, but the lift was already heading up towards his apartment.

_Out of the million times Jaemin’s introverted self wanted to retreat to his safe sanctuary, it was this moment when he didn’t want to feel safe right now._

Not that Jaemin didn’t want to feel safe – he wanted to put himself out there, he wanted to be around the boy he met earlier – to be judged to be loved. Just from their small encounter, it was already enough for Jaemin to want to replay the moment forever on loop. He sighed when the lift doors slipped open again and thoughts about going back down in case the boy was there crept into his mind. Desperate to become closer with him, Jaemin allowed his instincts and emotions to take over his rational thinking. He pressed on the cold metal buttons, but his ears were burning hot as the image of the boy’s eyes pierced his mind and heart once more.

_I have to go. I have to meet him. Just once, please just once._

Jaemin was pulled towards Jeno like a magnet, once again he ended up at the ground floor of his apartment. His eyes were desperate, searching for Jeno once again, desperately. Of course, he was one step late again. As usual.

_Jeno was no longer there._

_

Jeno entered his apartment, sighing as he took off his shoes. He saw the pink haired boy again. As the lift door slowly shut, he caught a glimpse of Jaemin. Pretty, delicate carnation as he was likened to. The flower symbolizes deep love and affection, like the love and affection that started to bloom within Jeno’s heart. He only had a chance to stare back at Jaemin, before the lift doors closed, but just that one glimpse for him was enough to make him dash up to the metal doors, desperately trying to will them open once more.

_Why, why do I keep thinking about you?_

Bongshik, the kitten that visited him regularly, now had a name and was soon about to have a collar too. Jeno dropped by the pet shop to get a collar instead of going to his two hour class that he was already an hour late for. With the collar in his hand, Jeno gingerly approached the cat that was sitting on his bed.

“Bongshik-ah…”

He broke in to a smile, nuzzling his nose into the kitten’s fur, pulling her into a warm, tight hug. The kitten purred in his embrace, pawing at the collar that fell from his hand. Jeno quickly brought the collar up and slipped it onto her without any struggle. He admired his work of art, stroking her head gently and he brought the cool metal bell in his hands.

“When I miss you, I’ll just listen out for your bell, okay? Now that you have a collar, there’s no way that anyone else would dare to take you in,” Jeno whispered to the feline that blinked back at him with innocent eyes, before retreating to the bathroom to shower.

_

Jaemin retreated back to his apartment, trying to find the cat he had loved the most. After that encounter with Jeno, he was exhausted and craved for a break from the feelings that were wearing him out.

Of course, Luna wasn't there.

With the number of times that Luna has disappeared, Jaemin started to be worried for Luna, wondering where she could have gone time and time again. Timely enough, Luna returned once more, hopping into his apartment. He took out the collar which he bought in the morning, as Luna rubbed her head against his leg. Jaemin’s heart softened again and he bent to pick her up and cuddle her, telling her that he missed her so, so much.

But just as he was about to put the newly purchased collar on her, he realized something was not quite right. In the place where he had wanted to don the pretty collar on , his eyes widened and he picked up a collar that was already around her neck.

_No way._

He picked up the silver bell that was now on the collar around her neck and squinted at the thinly carved word – which he assumed was given to her by her rightful owner.

_Bongshik._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> personally i like the name Luna better than Bongshik ><


	4. 04

The day finally came where Jaemin had to let go of the cat he loved and adored the most, just as his love for her had started to bloom. As far as Jaemin had remembered, he had no recollection of Luna having a collar, but it dawned on him that he was not adopting a stray but rather taking care of a domestic cat. This was the part where the two had to part and Jaemin could do nothing in his will to stop this from happening. Jaemin felt bad that he held hostage of a kitten that wasn’t his and he felt worse as he had picked a name for her. His mind burned with curiosity as he wondered who the cat could have belonged to, but a thought crept into his mind – the image of the pretty boy staring right back at him before the metal doors closed. Jaemin shook the thought out of his mind and decided to contemplate how on earth he should apologise to Luna’s rightful owner, after all he had been babysitting the darn cat for close to two weeks now and Luna _did_ grow a little bigger than the first time he held her in his arms.

 _If this is going to be the last time I feel your fur against my face, then let me fully embrace you._

Jaemin took the kitten into his arms, walked up the stairs gingerly and slid open the door of his balcony, which led to the rooftop.

As Luna plays with the ball of yarn in her paws, Jaemin watches. For that tiny moment, the noises fade into the background and the birds hold their chattering. As if this very moment was in a frame, hung as a piece in the museum for others to admire – specifically Jeno. Jaemin was eternal within it, he had dreamed of being with Luna for all nine years of her life. Luna purrs with his every touch and Jeno who was observing from afar, saw a million sunrises and the starry nights that follow, each as crisp and perfect as the last. The moment blossoms into a fresh one when Jaemin smiles.

The corner of his lips curved, laughter – the melodious sound of pure happiness escaped from Jaemin’s lips that made Jeno smile unconsciously as well. Now he felt that he was connected to Jaemin through something else that brought joy to their lives. They would soon create a story, one with bravery, love and a little cat.

With every movement Luna makes, the bell tinkles and the wind carries that familiar sound into Jeno’s ears. Jeno smiles softly at Jaemin, as Jaemin continues to play with the kitten in the first days of spring.

Jeno then realises that the kitten in Jaemin’s arms was the same kitten that disappeared from his apartment an hour ago.

_So… we were both raising a stray cat, became cat parents yet I don’t know your name but I think I might be starting to fall for you._

For the first time in a while, Jeno smiles.

_ 

“Excuse me, but that’s my cat, Bongshik.” Jeno fumbles for his words as he stares at Jaemin.

They meet yet again.

“Sorry? Oh… oh right. I’m sorry… for taking her in the other day, she came in by the balcony and never had a collar so…”

The kitten settled herself in Jeno’s arms comfortably.

“It’s okay, I found her on my balcony too.”

_Wait._

“You found her on your balcony?” Jaemin raises an eyebrow.

_That’s hot._

“Yeah, but she kept on disappearing for the past few days, so I had no idea where she went at all,” Jeno’s breath hitched as Jaemin stepped closer to him.

“I see, because the same thing happened here with Luna and now I’m starting to wonder if she’s really a stray or not because apart from us, the only other person that owns a cat is the old lady down the hall,” Jaemin smiled and tried to lightened the mood.

There it was again, the smile that made Jeno’s heart perform paroxysms. 

_I don’t like this distance between us._

The air sparked with electricity and Jeno set Luna on the ground as she started to squirm in his arms.

“You don’t know me; I don’t know you... but we’re parents of a cat?” Jeno asks, trying to keep his cool as the pink haired boy in front of him clearly didn’t understand what personal space was.

Jaemin hums in amusement, his eyes remained glued to Jeno’s lips. Perhaps it was out of habit that he looked at other’s lips in order to understand other’s better, or maybe Jaemin’s eyes subconsciously wander to Jeno’s pink lips for no reason at all – yeah right as if he didn’t feel like kissing Jeno every single day or whatever.

“Cat parents? The both of us?”

_Don’t fucking smile at me like that._

The deep curve on Jaemin’s lips makes Jeno’s world stop instantly. The smile that brings back memories of observing Jaemin, the smile that brings back a million memories in a split second. The sparkling eyes that makes his heart palpitate like crazy in his chest, the smile Jaemin gave that stupid fucking cat instead of him.

A hand lands next to Jeno’s ear softly on the wall, and Jaemin leans even nearer. His breath brushes against Jeno’s lips and he feels the distance slowly closing between them. Jaemin’s face was just inches from his, sparkling brown orbs danced with flames of curiosity, a smirk plastered on his face as he was thrilled by Jeno’s reactions.

_Were his lashes always this long?_

“I haven’t introduced myself yet, but why is your face already so red? I’m Jaemin, nice to meet you.”

His voice drips with honey and he waits for the other to answer.

“Jeno.” It came out more like a question rather than a statement and it made Jaemin giggle.

Another hand lands beside his face, caging him against the wall and between Jaemin’s arms.

“What. Why’re you smiling at me like that?” Jeno scowls at Jaemin, face feeling hotter and hotter by the second.

“Because you’re pretty,”

Jaemin whispers, letting his bottom lip brush against the lobe of Jeno’s ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *italics* oh. 
> 
> feedback is much appreciated!!!!


	5. 05

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this might be triggering for some towards the end as there is emotional manipulation!! do skip if it makes you feel uncomfortable T__T [Cat Parents](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5z8r2eS6E4QP624ybGph7z?si=b_T8Y2wrR36VXL5Fxnqd5w)  
> 

_Haha what the fuck was that._

Jeno sinks into his bed further, face down onto the pillow. Why, why, why did he become so weak whenever Jaemin was around? His eyes… were every single shade of brown Jeno could have ever imagined, a raw caramel and umber mix, dotted with spirals of earthy brown, colliding with honey droplets. They sparkled with humour and playfulness that gave Jeno shivers – but wraps him up in a warm embrace all at the same time. Jaemin’s breath brushed against his ear and his face grew hot again. Groaning once more, Jeno sat up in frustration.

_Because you’re pretty._

Those words ringed in Jeno’s ear, the touch of Jaemin’s lips grazing his ear made his lobe burn once more. His thoughts drift to the pretty Jaemin he saw on the rooftop and he realized he had pictured the two extremely differently. He expected Jaemin to be gentle, soft, _pliant._ Not all up in his face, whispering things into his ear and sending sparks of electricity down his spine.

At the very least though, if they were really going to be cat parents then shouldn’t he be a better one than Jaemin?

_ 

“Don’t you think it’s fun?’

“What do you mean.”

“All of this.” Jaemin purrs in responds.

“Na Jaemin, don’t land yourself in situations you can’t save yourself from.”

“You’re just saying that because Jeno literally fell head over heels in love with me, not you.”

Renjun sighed, raking his hands through his hair. For the umpteenth time that day, Renjun questioned his choice of friends once more. His hair stuck out weirdly on his head, from the countless times he has pulled on them in frustration. If not for the kitten, Renjun would never have set foot into Jaemin’s apartment, nor willingly come to listen to Jaemin’s boy troubles when a stack of work was awaiting him at home.

“Jaemin, how are you so sure Jeno likes you back?”

Jaemin stretches out on the bed lazily and shrugged. Whenever Jaemin played with Luna on the rooftop, Jeno would always be nearby watching. At first, Jaemin noticed the pretty boy staring at him from the corner of his eye while he was playing with Luna, yet he didn’t pay attention to the boy at all. A part of Jaemin wanted Jeno to keep on staying, looking at him fondly with those eyes and that cute smile on his face. But the one day where Jaemin purposefully looked at Jeno in the eyes, while Jeno was staring at him play with Luna, had made him look away hurriedly. As the days passed by, Jaemin’s eyes unconsciously wandered to where Jeno would usually stand whenever he was at the rooftop. Even without Jaemin recognising these foreign feelings he could tell that he wanted to be friends with Jeno – maybe even more.

“Huh?”

Renjun rolled his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh yet again.

“You like him, don’t you?”

“Well…”

Jaemin couldn’t bring himself to say no, how could he? Whenever the memory of those puppy eyes resurfaced in his mind, he found it impossible to say no.

“Jaemin… just remain friends for now, the worst thing you want to happen is, you know… Leaving him broken hearted…”

Renjun definitely didn’t need to continue for Jaemin to know what he was referring to.

_ 

Dinner consisted of fake smiles and forced laughs, quiet scraping of utensils due to his father’s pet peeves. Heck, his father had many pet peeves – Jaemin’s presence was also one of them. Jaemin knew that ever since that day he stepped on the mine at precisely 6pm. Plates were thrown to the ground, wine glasses were shattered, red liquor pooled at his feet – but being so young, he never knew what he did wrong.

“Mom, dad… you hate me, right?”

_Blood._

“How could you say that? Your mom and I love you _so much,_ Jaemin! Can’t you see it? Can’t you? Answer me, Na Jaemin!”

_Screams._

Jaemin saw a knife being thrusted at him and his gaze shifted to the pair of eyes staring down at him.

_Dad’s angry._

The laughter that filled the dining room evaporated from his eyes. His customary warmth disappeared faster than summer rain on the tarmac. His focus wasn’t on Jaemin. His eyes were empty, reflecting fear written all over Jaemin’s face. Jaemin knew he crossed some invisible line, stepped on some invisible mine that was only visible to his parents. Jaemin had seen him do this multiple times to his mother, through the crack they left open, always leaving the door ajar. Now, it was his turn to feel his father’s wrath. Blood drained from his face and his heart hammered in his chest. He never had to face the wrath of his father’s anger, he had always been part of the play they had staged so well, a happy family with the spotlight shining upon Jaemin – their only son. Jaemin tried to thaw his anger, return that loving spark to his eyes. The spark he had pretended to habour in his eyes, hiding in sheep’s wool were a wolf that would soon engulf Jaemin’s sanity – whole.

_My hand, it’s bleeding._

“Na Jaemin, you’re our creation. Our precious creation. Do you think I’ll ever hurt you? No I won’t, I will never hurt my precious boy. Jaemin, this is love, understand?”

_Love…._

“This… this is love?” Jaemin’s voice quivered as he hung his head.

“Of course it is, Jaemin, why would I lie to you? This is the purest form of love.” He caressed Jaemin’s face once more, wiping away the tears that fell from his eyes.

He knelt down and smiled at Jaemin – the fatherly like smile that made Jaemin had a tinge of hope. The hope that everything was alright, the small voice that whispered “maybe”, the hope that they could go back to acting in the play where happiness felt so real to him. He continued to smile at his son, wiping the tears away.

The slap was loud as a clap and it stung at his face. It had been an open-handed smack and it left a red welt behind. Just below his eye was a small cut that started to ooze crimson red liquid, where the ring had caught him. Jaemin staggered backwards, clutching his face as his eyes watered.

“Love is pain, Jaemin. I love you, see? Don’t doubt me Jaemin, I love you _so_ much.”

With the final spurt of energy Jaemin had left in him, he turned around and ran out of the metal gates that separated his family from the rest of the city. Distance did not matter, the excruciating pain in his heart did. Jaemin ran and ran, as far as his legs could take him – away from his family, away from… _love._ If this was love, Jaemin never wanted to love. He never wanted to love anything or anyone. The curtains are drawn now, the play is over. Jaemin ran and ran until he stopped abruptly at the riverbank. There were few people there anyway, barely anyone even – barely anyone but the boy that stood a few steps away from him.

_Run._

But he stayed rooted to the ground.

_He’s here to hurt you._

His feet brought him closer to the boy, as if they were attracted like magnets.

_Defend yourself, Jaemin. He looks like love in human form._

If he really were love in human form – the love Jaemin knew – then why did he look so gentle, harmless and warm?

The distance between the two boys became shorter and shorter.

The boy took Jaemin’s cold hands into his warm ones and wordlessly took a Muzi band-aid out of his pocket. He stepped closer and Jaemin gulped. He wasn’t used to a distance so close. The boy pasted the band-aid just below Jaemin’s eyes, hiding the ugly scar behind Muzi’s cute face.

Embarrassed, the boy stepped back.

“Sorry, you looked hurt so I thought…”

“Thank you, but I like Ryan more.”

“I’ll bring a Ryan band-aid next time. I like Kakao friends too!”

The boy then gave Jaemin a smile so genuinely sweet, with shyness that made unexpected warmth rush through Jaemin, making him feel extremely different from what he just felt a few minutes ago.

“I’m Jaemin,” he started out.

“Jeno.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funfact during one jaemjen vlive, jaemin had a muzi band-aid on his finger and he said jeno gave it to him because his finger got a cut from trying to piece his new phone together (which btw was the exact same model as jeno's) and so this was how this chapter was born LOL
> 
> feedback + kudos very much appreciated~!


	6. 06

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is gonna be a whole rollercoaster ride!! prepare yourselves and haha look forward to the ending ヽ(；▽；)ノ

“What-”

The door flies open and Jeno stands at the door frame, one hand leaning on the previously closed door, the other hand carrying a bowl of shaved ice topped with fruits – the way Jaemin liked it. As soon as Jaemin flung the door open, Jeno’s weight was thrown off balance and he nearly crashed into the younger boy now staring at him through the long lashes fanning his beautiful brown orbs.

Jaemin scowled in annoyance, spatula in one hand, hair lazily ruffled, the pink strands haphazardly pushed back as Jaemin ran his hands through them for the umpteenth time today. The LP plays in the background, music filling the emptiness of the apartment, a sweet, savory aroma wafted through from the kitchen. Jeno’s stomach clenched with hunger at the thought of sweet bean filled Korean pancakes. He could imagine the golden-brown pastry, dripping with oil and piping hot. He could imagine sinking his teeth into the pastry, amber-colored liquid dripping as it is soft on the inside, crispy on the outside. Jeno focused back again to the pink haired boy in front of him that now looked even more perplexed.

“Well?” Jaemin glared at Jeno, arms crossed.

“Well… I made my mind up and decided to be a responsible parent of a cat so I’m here to just pop by swiftly to see if Luna is doing alright and also to steal some food you whipped up… so that I can finally eat something homemade.”

“Just come in already and admit that you missed me.”

“Yeah…No.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes, then closes the door once Jeno enters; he walks into the apartment, heading towards the kitchen to resume his cooking, away from the boy that was blushing madly.

Jeno pushes past Jaemin swiftly and plonked himself down on the couch, then closed his eyes and allowed his exhausted body to relax. Jeno had initially came for two reasons – one was to visit Luna, the other was to steal whatever mouth-watering dish that Jaemin was making; now as he glanced at the back view of Jaemin, he thought if he was truly here for just those two reasons, or if he was here just to see Jaemin. Just to see the boy that made him feel things he didn’t think was possible, just to hear his deep voice which Jeno payed close attention to, just to feel the slight brush of Jaemin’s hands against his whenever they stroked Luna. Every single action that Jaemin did made Jeno’s heart perform paroxysms in his chest and there was nothing Jeno could do about it.

_Yeah… there was no way I was in love with Jaemin, right?_

Wrong.

Jeno couldn’t tear his eyes off from Jaemin at all.

It had been a few weeks since they met properly and whenever they did, they only ever had small talks.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yeah, so I’m just whipping up something light for the time being.”

“What did you eat?” 

“Your love.”

Jeno could see Jaemin grinning as he turned around and walked towards the kitchen, which made Jeno smile too.

_He’s so fucking stupid it’s cute._

Jeno picked up a frame that was lying on Jaemin’s mantlepiece and brushed his thumb over the picture of a eight year old Jaemin. He had the same sparkling eyes even back then, a Muzi plaster on his cheek. He was standing under the cherry blossom tree, head tilted up towards the endless falling petals, now captured in a frame. He wore a smile, mouth parted as if beckoning the photographer to come. Now as Jeno held the frame in his hands, he felt like diving into the frame to find the boy – more importantly, he felt the immense desire of wanting to be the photographer standing behind the camera, looking at eight year old Jaemin through the camera, admiring his smile that was brighter than the sunlight that bathed him in an ethereal glow.

_Did Jaemin like Muzi too? That’s cute._

“What are you looking at?”

Startled, Jeno jumped and turned around, instantly making eye contact with Jaemin, the gap between them being a little _too_ close. He gulped, looking at the younger that was comfortably between his arms. His gaze unconsciously wanders to Jaemin’s nose, then to his pink and slightly chapped lips – making a mental note to get Jaemin lip balm for his birthday. The sight of syrup on Jaemin’s lips however, made Jeno smile fondly.

_Jaemin must’ve ate at least one before coming out of the kitchen huh._

“Is this you?”

“Yeah, aren’t I cute?” Jaemin giggles to himself, pressing his body against Jeno’s.

_Yeah._

“No,” he blurts out and mentally slapped himself.

_Lee Jeno, you’re really something else._

Jaemin pouts, before smirking to himself. He closes the gap between them – if there was one to begin with – his face inches away from Jeno.

"Am I cute now?" 

_Not again._

Jaemin has him caged to the wall once again and flashbacks of the first meeting between of the two resurfaces in his mind – talk about déjà vu. Jeno curses under his breath when Jaemin brings two fingers under his chin and jerks his head to meet Jaemin’s gaze once more. Those eyes so full of mischief and happiness now eluded a completely different aura – was it… _Lust_? Jeno shook his head and blushed at the thought. Jaemin brushed his thumb against Jeno’s bottom lip – once, twice, thrice – his eyes never leaving his lips.

The air was so brittle it could snap, and if it doesn’t, Jeno might. He didn’t dare to speak, what is there to say? Jeno feared that if he opened his mouth, a breathy gasp would escape – and he didn’t need that – not right now when Jaemin was staring him down like that with those eyes. Syrup glistened on his chapped lips, which proved to be too much of a distraction to Jeno. He gulped.

Jaemin studied his face, before leaning in further. The sound of the LP became louder to his ears, the colours of Jaemin’s eyes became sharper to his eyes, the aroma of Korean pancakes overpowered his sense of smell.

_This is it._

Jeno shuts his eyes when he feels Jaemin’s chapped lips brushing against his, heart beating so fast he was sure Jaemin could feel it too. Holding his breath, he searches for the moment where Jaemin would connect their lips together.

But it never happened.

As soon as he brushed his lips against Jeno’s, he stepped back. The eyes that were once filled with lust were now sparkling in amusement. The aftertaste of the sweet syrup filling lingered on the tip of Jeno’s tongue and he willed himself to stand on both feet. Jeno let go of the breath that he held in anticipation, flustered at Jaemin’s actions.

“Come and eat, I made plenty.”

_What just happened?_

His mind was in a frenzy, the feeling of Jaemin’s lips against his burned in his mind.

“Why’re you staring at me like that?” The younger looked at him with an innocent expression which drove Jeno crazy.

“Nothing. Do you like Muzi too?”

_Shut up Jeno, you’re embarrassing yourself._

“No, I like Ryan more.”

_That’s cute._

“I’ll bring a Ryan band-aid next time. I like Kakao friends too!” Jeno blurted out, before covering his mouth in embarrassment.

“What are you, six?”

“Yeah, six centimetres taller than you.”

Jaemin snorted, before retorting quickly.

“Liar, we’re the same height.”

Jeno laughed and put down the pancake on his plate.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… I was just wondering, when was the picture taken?” He nodded towards the direction of the frame.

“When I was eight, before I moved out of my old neighbourhood, I think.”

_I see…_

“The cherry blossoms are pretty.”

“It was taken in springtime, by a friend I held close to my heart…”

_Oh._

Jaemin’s voice faltered and he smiled at Jeno – it wasn’t the same smile with teeth he always flashed at Jeno, it was a sad smile which Jeno identified with wanting to stay strong.

“Were you two close?”

“Very.”

“Do you still keep in touch with them?”

“I would like to think so, yeah.”

A long silence followed.

“They must’ve meant a lot to you, huh.”

His gaze met with Jaemin’s and he recognized a tinge of sadness in them. Unsure if he should say more, Jeno remained silent.

“Yeah he did. He meant the world to me, Jeno. He still does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *punches a wall* NOW KISS.
> 
> feedback + kudos is very much appreciated~!


	7. 07

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of animal abuse + manipultion 
> 
> SPOTIFY PLAYLIST FOR CAT PARENTS HERE : [Cat Parents](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5z8r2eS6E4QP624ybGph7z?si=b_T8Y2wrR36VXL5Fxnqd5w)  
> i highly suggest listening to this while reading~~

“Did he… by any chance, give you a Ryan plaster?” Jeno joked, trying to lift the mood.

Jaemin’s eyes darkened instantly.

“He did promise me one.”

“Are you still waiting for him to come back, then?”

Jaemin nodded.

“I’ve been waiting ever since.”

_Me too, Jaemin. Me too._

-

“Then will we always meet here at 2pm?”

“Of course, Jaemin-ah, Jeno will be here for you. Always. Today, tomorrow, the day after.”

Eight-year-old Jaemin beamed at the boy caressing his head and smiling at him. For him, Jeno was his safety blanket, someone he could rely on, someone he could run to whenever he was sad, someone he could break down in front of, tear down his walls, step on a million mines – yet never getting hurt because Jeno would always be there to embrace him, all of him – including the broken pieces that had been shattered into a million fragments due to his parent’s wrath. Love to Jaemin was a scary thing, something that seemed dangerous. At eight years of age, Jaemin had many encounters with love and each encounter brought him sadness – except this one. He wondered what this new feeling was – it couldn’t be love, of course not. Love isn’t like this – love was scary, love was being together for money, love was getting hurt on the daily.

But love stood in front of him – love in human form named Lee Jeno.  
  


So obvious it was to others but not to Jaemin, because he failed to see the beautiful side of love.

“If I fall and get hurt, you’ll give me a band-aid, right?”

“I’ll give you a Ryan one!”

The little boy hooked his pinky with his friend’s and giggled happily.

“Pinky promise, you can’t go back on your words!”

They waved goodbye at each other, before parting ways.

Jaemin stepped into the empty house, once again. He returned after spending time with Jeno that made him so happy. Jaemin carefully slipped his agile body between the ajar sliding door, before stilling his heartbeat and shutting it completely. It was already evening; the sun had set. The house seemed even emptier than usual – eerie if you would – dark shadows crept across the cool marble tiles, forming the most gruesome shapes belonging to a harmless household item. A shadow of a man was casted on the ground, leg crossed over the other – a position which his father loved to sit in. Jaemin shuddered at the thought and immediately dismissed it, as he knew that his father was still at work and it would be too early for him to arrive home. Ever since he stepped on the mine at dinnertime, every single day passed by with anxiety gnawing at him.

“Jaemin.”

The boy convulsed with a sudden jolt and he felt a stab of panic to his heart.

_Oh no._

Jaemin had a puppy, the cutest little Samoyed out there, bought by his parents when he was only three years of age. Back then he was still too young to understand that there was a play, he thought his family truly was perfect. A loving mother, an understanding father and a huge house with big rooms that Jaemin spent hours playing in delightedly.

Slowly he turned and faced the looming figure, standing above him.

_He caught me._

Temptation of the forbidden vibrant greens beyond Jaemin’s invisible cage had made him snuck out of the house that day to play with Jeno. He had lost track of time, and when he had returned, it was too late. All nine years of Jaemin’s short life flashed through his eyes. Ever since he was eight, he had been sneaking out of the house to play with Jeno and never got caught – ever. However, this time, he was… unlucky.

Jaemin’s father had barely laid a hand on him, ever since the last dinner when Jaemin had a taste of bitter reality.

The whip falls and falls, striping pelt to bleeding flesh. His barks, his voice, speaks of unbridled pain through chains. It was never going to be enough for his father to break the dog’s fragile body, he wanted to end the very spirit of the animal – as a punishment to his disobedient son. The Samoyed lay on the cool marble floors, blood seeping beneath his fur, body so still that he barely made a single yelp, all that hung in the air was the metallic smell of blood.

“Father, please…”

“Please stop!”

“I promise to never do it ever again, please stop hurting him!”

The moonlight through the windows, the cocktail scents of grass, peonies, jasmine. All of that topped with the odor of fear, the stench of a frightened puppy defecating all over freshly washed floors felt so real to Jaemin.

With a final cry, Jaemin fell to the floor, holding the bloody animal in his arms.

His father left as silently as he had come, leaving no evidence of abuse except for the cold metal bat now splattered with blood.

-

He made a promise to meet Jeno at precisely 2pm the next day – and that was what he did. Jaemin would gladly take the beatings of his father, even if it meant that he would be hospitalized. To Jaemin, Jeno was his forever companion – someone that he would give up everything for.

Jaemin went to the playground the next day with a cut on his forehead, which appeared while trying to protect his puppy. Ever since Jeno appeared on the night and gave him a band-aid for his wound, Jaemin was no longer afraid of being hurt, because he knew that Jeno would always come again to piece his broken pieces and heal his wounds with an angelic smile and a band-aid. Jaemin knew his father would never dare to lay a finger on him, and this fueled his motivation to meet Jeno.

While waiting for him, Jaemin picked up a twig he found on the ground, and randomly started to doodle pictures of the family he dreamt of, starting with a sun. He drew and drew, completely absorbed in his own world – that he didn’t realize that the older boy was standing in front of him.

“Jaemin-ah, what are you doing?”

Startled, the boy dropped the twig in his little hands beside the doodle on the ground. He looked up at the shinning boy with his pretty smile – too pretty for this ugly world – or so Jaemin thought.

“I was waiting for you.”

He smiled and dusted his hands, before extending his hand towards the older boy. The older boy grasped his little hands which fitted perfectly in his – they were best friends, soulmates, as some would say. Jeno became Jaemin’s focus in life, everything revolved around Jeno. He was his umbrella on rainy days, his safety blanket on nights when the thunder boomed a little too loud, when the windows shook because of the sounds; he was his shield against his father’s wrath, his motivation that kept him running. Jeno was Jaemin’s home. A home that was genuinely warm, loving and cozy. A home that Jaemin could always return to, a home that Jaemin could escape too when things became a little too difficult. Everything Jaemin had dreamed of was Jeno, he called him his home, but he was also his star. His bright star, the brightest amongst them all – in the pitch-black sky.

It was a mild spring day, where the two were so happy to run outside without jackets. Jaemin ran to the swing, dragging Jeno along with him by holding his pinkie finger. With Jaemin’s eight-year-old legs, he swung higher and higher as Jeno pushed him from behind. Jaemin’s hair flopped backwards as his face felt the warm sunlight; and forwards as he faced the ground on the backwards swing. Their giggles filled the air of springtime and it was one of the happiest moments in Jaemin’s life. With Jeno’s laughter ringing in his ears, the warm sunlight bathing his face in a stunning glow. This continued until they ran out of breath, until Jaemin fell onto the ground with a soft thump.

“Are you okay? Hey, Jaemin wait here.” Jeno looked at the younger boy worriedly, before hurrying off to get the promised Ryan band-aid.

“Okay.”

And the boy waited.

Jeno never breaks his promises. Never. He was going to come back.

_I’m sure of it._

But he never did.

When Jaemin looked up to the familiar sound of Jeno’s footsteps to greet his warm smile – to tell Jaemin everything was going to be alright, he was greeted with the back view of the older boy instead. A figure that once appeared so big to him suddenly became smaller and smaller… until it disappeared.

“Jeno, it’s time for you to go home, come on.” The lady tugged at her child’s hand, pulling him along.

A blue marble which had slipped from his hand landed in the soft sand, inches away from Jaemin’s face.

_Jeno would come back, right?_

The voices got softer.

_He won’t leave me alone, he’s not like mother, or father._

The footsteps disappeared in the sand, the clicking of heels were no longer audible.

_He would stay with me till the end, right?_

The sound of the car door being shut rang in Jaemin’s ears.

_No._

_No, no, no._

“Jeno!”

Jaemin cried – he cried as if his brain were being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed from his heart, from his mouth came a cry so raw even the eyes of the strangers were focused onto the boy pouring his heart out. He grabbed onto the marble – the only thing remaining of Jeno. The cold glass ball was so precious to him, from his eyes came a thicker flow of tears than he had cried for when his father had hit him. He hadn’t expected for Jeno to walk out of his life like this, not like that after they had made a promise. Jaemin knew he would never see Jeno again – not until he could be freed from his cage, in the form of his family. The whole world had vanished for him, now there was only pain enough to break him, pain enough for him to struggle to get up. He refused to lose Jeno – not like this, no. Not yet, not when he couldn’t bid his last goodbye to him.

But Jeno looked at him from the window of the sleek vehicle with sadness in his eyes, a smile on his face.

“I’ll be there next time, Jaemin. I promise. Sorry I couldn’t tell you about us moving. I miss you Jaemin, I always do.”

And so the boy waited for Jeno the next day as usual – at 2pm sharp he was sitting on the swing, awaiting his arrival.

The boy sat patiently, quietly; his head clouded with thoughts he himself could not face.

_2pm._

_3pm._

_4pm._

It was time to leave the playground, time to leave everything he loved. Jeno didn’t come back, he broke his promise.

_Maybe he was busy._

The next day, the boy went to the playground and sat at the same swing, holding the same blue marble.

Jaemin visited the playground every single day of spring at 2pm.

Sometimes he got caught – on one faithful night, his beloved Samoyed left him, along with a blood-stained metal bat.

This happened until summer came around when Jaemin’s family decided to move somewhere else.

The boy at the swing – as others had called him – ran back to the playground one last time, as quickly as his legs took him. He believed that Jeno hadn’t forgotten him, he was caged up as he was – in his house, or whatever that was preventing the little dove from flying on his white wings yet again. His heart burst forth with emotions, so complicated even Jaemin’s nine-year-old self could not identify.

When he reached the playground, he fell to the ground – shaking.

At the place where the sand was abundant – where Jaemin often doodled by himself – was a new drawing he had never seen before. The drawing stood out to him, the biggest one at the playground, too.

He carefully approached the drawing and stared at it as his vision started to blur.

A perfectly drawn heart with “JM + JN” were written in the sand, along with an “I love you” and a lopsided smiley face.

Jaemin continued to stare at the drawing, tears falling from his eyes. As he wiped them from his face, they fell onto the drawing – tears of relief as Jeno had come to the playground before him; however he felt a twinge of sadness as he was yet again one step too late.

The lopsided smiley face now had a tear below one of its eyes, thanks to the tears which Jaemin had shed.

“I love you too, Jeno - today, tomorrow and the day after – I will love you for all 365 days in the calendar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback and kudos is appreciated ^ ^


	8. 08

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spotify playlist : (highly recommended to listen while reading!) [Cat Parents](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5z8r2eS6E4QP624ybGph7z?si=b_T8Y2wrR36VXL5Fxnqd5w)  
> 

“Why did you leave each other then?”

Jaemin looked up and rested his hands on his chin.

“I never left him, Jeno. He was always here,” Jaemin tapped his chest with a grin.

“In my heart – from the start till the end.”

“I hope you find him soon.”

_So that it would be easier for me to let go when the time comes._

He glanced at Jeno – and for a brief moment, Jeno could see a flicker of sadness through them, before they lit up once again – and he smiled.

“I hope he finds his way to me, too.”

_So that it would be harder for me to say goodbye._

“Jaemin.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I stay for the night?”

For the first time in a while, Jeno saw Jaemin’s pearly whites again, along with those shining eyes that made his smile the prettiest one out there.

“Of course, Jeno. Make yourself at home."

Turning around, Jaemin carried the plates in his hands and smiled to himself. Maybe tonight would be a good time for him to salvage all the time that was left, before he moved abroad to study – and to compensate for the time that had been lost as kids at the playground.

-

Jaemin lay in his own bed – wide awake as he listened to the sounds of Jeno breathing. He tosses over and stares at the back of the brown haired boy whose body was angled towards him. Jaemin looks at Jeno, gaze lingering on those pretty lashes that fanned out, the attractive mole that sat underneath his eye, the tall, well defined nose and his small pretty face. His lips were in a pout, the only audible sounds came from Jeno, as well as the gushing of the air conditioner. He could swear that Jeno was in fact the prettiest boy that Jaemin had ever seen, as an eight-year-old and even now as a teen. Jaemin carefully rolled onto his side to look at the sleeping boy clearly.

Now that Jaemin looked at the older boy, his features started to appear more ethereal under the silver moonlight, his skin was milky pale, a shadow casted on his face due to his tall nose. He was handsome – he always had been. His bangs were messy, falling over his closed eyes prettily, framing his small face. Jaemin wanted to reach out and caress his face, he wanted to pull Jeno close to him, he wanted to bury his face into the crook of Jeno’s neck, falling asleep to their synced breathing – every rise and fall of their chests made reality seem like a dream. Before Jaemin could stop himself, he gingerly brushed Jeno’s bangs aside to reveal the prettiest pair of eyes, lashes framing them. He then moved his hand to the crown of Jeno’s head, stroking it gently. It made Jaemin tear up – such a delicate flower Jeno was, in the day he seemed so clumsy and flustered but now he seemed so fragile – Jaemin was so afraid to do pull Jeno in an embrace, just in case he broke, he didn’t want to lose Jeno again, not like that. Not like the last time, not when he realized that love was so dangerous, not when he realized his true feelings for his best friend.

Not when he realized 2 hours became 2 months.

Wanting nothing more than to curl up into the curve of his body, Jaemin turned around and pulled the blanket up over his shoulder and tried to shut Jeno out of his mind.

He lay awake, listening to the sounds of Jeno’s breathing synced with his as his mind clouded over with thoughts. Jeno who he had known for 11 years, Jeno who had been on his mind continuously on his mind when he was eight – occasionally appearing in his dreams when he was twelve – now on his mind 24/7. Jeno who had the prettiest eye smile, the softest voice and a giggle like melody to his ears.

Jeno whose body was now pressing into his, breath fanning his ear, nose buried into the crook of Jaemin’s neck.

His body tensed up.

_Jeno, Jeno, Jeno._

The brown haired boy held onto Jaemin’s waist a little tighter.

_Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin._

“Jaemin.”

“Jeno.”

The pink haired boy glanced at Jeno who now had his head on his chest.

_I’ll protect you so that you will never get hurt like I did._

A pair of eyes, heavy lidded with sleep, peered out from the long lashes that framed them.

_I’ll rewrite your definition of love so that you’re not afraid to love._

Jeno stayed silent, observing the rise and fall of Jaemin’s chest, listening to Jaemin’s heartbeat, shutting his eyes as Jaemin stroked his head.

_I’ll do my best to make you happy, so that the tears which fall from your pretty eyes are tears of joy._

“Jeno-yah… why are you still awake?”

“Bad dream.”

“Want me to tell you a story?”

He nodded.

“Once upon a time-”

Jeno giggled and Jaemin rested his chin on the top of Jeno’s head.

“There lived a young prince whose birthday fell on the 13th of August,” he continued.

“His birthday was an important date for the kingdom, where everyone was required to celebrate the occasion. Even his mother and father, the king and the queen, took a break from their royal duties to be with their beloved child. The kingdom were a very special one, one where the cherry blossoms would bloom in August and start to fall. You see, the young prince always admired the view of cherry blossoms from his window where he was being kept away. He never had a sense of time, he only knew that his birthday would soon come once he saw the pretty pink petals fall like snowflakes. He had private tutors – only the best ones – to teach him about how to rule a kingdom and subjects related to it. For his father was King and the young prince was the only heir to the throne. Hence, ever since the young prince was six, he had already memorised the rules of the kingdom, as well as the yearly wage for different people working in different sectors. The young prince spent his time pouring over thick textbooks and studying about the kingdom that he would take control of one day. Of course, he had his fair share of fun too – he often frolicked in the private pool, hidden in the secret garden of his castle – by himself of course.”

“Despite having a huge castle and many servants attending to him, the young prince was often neglected by his parents. He was always seen alone – he wandered the halls alone, he slept alone in a room a little too big for one, he played alone. The young prince longed for a friend to spend time with, he would imagine a friend beside him and he would giggle to himself. The young prince would laugh to himself, have conversations by himself and look around – it was a coping mechanism, because he craved love and happiness.”

“Why didn’t he have friends? Did no one like the prince?” Jeno asked.

Jaemin smiled, finding this little act endearing, “Well… the prince was often locked away, he could not get out of the castle or his family would threaten him. His father – the King, was especially strict on the young prince. So he lived his life in constant fear, Jeno.”

He paused.

“But did you know? The young prince had a friend.”

Jeno looked at him, listening intently.

“The prince had a friend who he believed was his soulmate.”

“Jeno, do you believe in soulmates?”

The boy nodded sleepily, shifting closer to Jaemin.

“The young prince did too.”

“His soulmate was… where should I start? He was pretty. He had sparkling eyes – his eyes were beautiful, they held all of the stars in the universe in them. They were so charming and they formed crescents whenever he smiled, so the young prince always tried his best to make the boy smile. The young prince thought to himself ‘I would do anything to make him wear his pretty smile, so that it never disappears.’ And that the young prince did. He spent his hours with the boy as much as he could. The boy had a voice as warm hot chocolate in winter, a heart so pure, a smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts. Not only was the boy his soulmate, he was the young prince’s anchor to the world.”

“They are lucky to have each other,” Jeno mumbled under his breath.

“No, the prince was lucky to have him. On the 13th of August, the young prince celebrated his birthday as usual – but this time with the boy. For the first time, the boy came into the castle like all the other people of the kingdom, and played with the young prince. They giggled happily, playing together under the trees which branches swayed when the wind blew. Pretty pink petals of the cherry blossom tree fell upon them, time melted away for the young prince and his friend – the rest of the world melted away, except for the both of them. The young prince was no longer alone and laughter filled the air. On his eighth birthday, the young prince had a taste of what happiness was. For the first time in many years, he felt the heavy burden of the throne lift from his shoulders and he focused solely on the boy in front of him.”

“The blossom opens as if each flower was a book – a book that was more sculpted than written, the ink infusing into the petals to give them a soft glow. It is a tale of eons passed, of the loving care of the gardeners that tended to the garden, the rain and the sun, a tale of the insects and the earthly soil. And yet, for all of that, is a love story that was being written by the two, told in its silent way – a fresh new page filled with happiness a book to be written for a long time, a fraction of a beautiful moment that they would never forget. So to commemorate this moment, the boy whips out a camera to capture the smile on the young prince’s face.”

“Cameras existed back then?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin smiled.

“The quick snap of a shutter produced a pretty picture of the smiling young prince. He was standing under the cherry blossom tree, head tilted up towards the endless falling petals, now captured in a frame. He wore a smile, mouth parted as if beckoning the photographer, his best friend – his soulmate – to come over. The boy who was standing behind the camera, looked at eight year old prince through the eyepiece of the camera, admiring his smile that was brighter than the sunlight that bathed him in a glow. The picture was taken and the boy gave one of them to the young prince.”

“The boy told the prince, ‘If one of us are no longer a part of this kingdom, let’s look at this picture.’ The young prince then said, ‘let me take a picture of you, so that you can keep this special moment in a frame too.’ So, pictures of the two were taken and kept. The boy then linked his arms with the young prince as they walked back to the castle for the prince to cut his birthday cake.”

“Before the young prince was blowing out the eight candles on the cake, he made a wish. The end.”

“WHAT. That’s it?” Jeno exclaimed and jolted upright.

“Yeah. That’s it,”

“I didn’t sign up for this.”

“I’m kidding. Come here.” Jaemin opened his arms and pulled Jeno into his warm embrace.

Sulking, Jeno settled his head onto Jaemin’s chest once again and hugged his waist, pulling the younger closer to him. Jaemin sighed contentedly, placing his chin onto the top of Jeno’s head.

In the darkness, the two of them huddled together, like a little touch of heaven, warm, together and cozy. Jaemin wished he could extend the night just so he could stay close to Jeno for longer, protecting him in an embrace. Jeno’s arms wrapped tightly around him brings a peace he has never known before, a calming of the storms in his heart. It’s Jeno that gives Jaemin hope that he would have a brighter future filled with happiness. In Jaemin’s embrace, Jeno starts to believe that there is nothing out there to fear, that all there is, is sunshine and a flowery path filled with kind people. They were each other’s light in the darkness, a lone star in an empty sky.

“So… what did the young prince wish for?”

“The prince wished that his soulmate would always stay by his side – today, tomorrow and the day after.”

“For all 365 days in the calendar?”

“For all 365 days in the calendar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback and kudos are very appreciated~! this chapter took a little long for me to post it but here it is~~ thank you for giving cat parents a read ^ ^


	9. 09

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> playlist : [Cat Parents](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5z8r2eS6E4QP624ybGph7z?si=b_T8Y2wrR36VXL5Fxnqd5w)  
> 

The warm ball of light filtered through his thin eyelids awoke him the next day, with Jeno’s arms tightly wrapped around his body, fast asleep in his arms. Rays of brightness cast squares onto the glossy stone floor, reflecting onto several objects in the room which decorated its otherwise simplicity. Jaemin blinked a few times, in an attempt to help his eyes adjust to the illumination directed right at his slim figure. It was almost as if he had it all – the love of his life wrapped up in his arms, birds chirping outside and a quiet ambience.

The older boy’s eyelids flutter awake and he yawned, before stretching his body like a cat.

“How long have you known that for?”

“Good morning to you too, Jaemin.”

He smiled softly and ran his fingers through the brunette’s soft hair.

“I realized it yesterday, before I fell asleep – about you being my childhood… best friend.”

-

Jeno used to never look at the photographs he kept away in a shoebox, always afraid they would become worn, sun bleached or damaged. He was mistaken – because these pictures were what conduits to his best memories, some not fantastic or traumatic enough to leave a permanent mark on their own, the rest beautiful and nostalgic, especially the ones he had with Jaemin. His recollections were opposite of these celluloid stills, unless he visited them often they might fade; and with them the very best of the special boy who blessed his life would vanish from his mind as well – as if none of it ever happened. It was in those moments of happiness that Jeno saw Jaemin beneath their troubles. He saw Jaemin’s dazzling smile and his child-like spirit coming out to play only when he was with Jeno. And Jeno needed those memories to soothe him when it got a little bit too difficult to live on. They are the traces of the beautiful soul that he still hold dear, even in his absence.

And today he uncovered a picture of a smiling Jeno, eight years old and before he moved to a different city. His head swirled with thoughts, questions which he couldn’t find an answer to.

_Who… took this picture?_

His thumb brushed over the film.

_When was this picture taken?_

Jeno turned the polaroid over and a doodle of a bunny looked right back at him.

_Where was I?_

Cherry blossom petals were captured as they fell, frozen in time. The trees that lined the path he was standing on were clothed in pink and white blossom. 

_Why… don’t I remember?_

The photograph fluttered to the ground and he sank into his chair, sighing deeply.

-

“ I saw the picture, the one in the frame with you smiling. I connected the dots.”

“You didn’t connect shit.”

Jeno hit the younger playfully on his arm and giggled.

“Yes, I did – Jaemin I literally took the picture of you.”

“Fair enough.”

“So, what are we?” it barely came out as a whisper, yet Jaemin caught it.

“We are whatever you think we are, Jeno.”

_But I haven’t told you about the ending yet – even though our story barely started._

“I like the sound of that.”

He lay his head on the Jaemin’s chest and listened to his steady heartbeat.

“Jeno-”

He looked up in response, expectant. Eyes sparkling and full of the love he had to give to Jaemin, to fix his broken parts. They say the eyes are windows, and Jaemin can see through them. He could see the pain and his gentleness just the same, how every emotion comes together to form the art of his soul. It forms a picture when Jaemin sees it in an instant, comprehending it with full depth. When Jaemin repeatedly says that Jeno’s eyes are beautiful, it really is the truth for it was not the colours when the sun hit, it wasn’t the shape – it was about the loving sweetness that shone so clearly in his eyes.

So loving and captivating that Jaemin could not bring himself to tell the news of his departure.

Jaemin stared at Jeno’s lips, the ones that make the light in the rest of the room get a little darker. The world stops spinning as he leans in slowly, closing his eyes as if upon instinct – this felt more intimate than the last time where his lips only brushed against Jeno’s. He knew Jeno was leaning in too as he felt Jeno’s head lift from his chest and his hands gripping his waist now.

But just as he came into contact with anything, Jeno sat up, swinging his feet off Jaemin’s bed. Jaemin’s eyes snapped open and was greeted with the view of Jeno’s back.

“I have to go now.”

“What are you, Cinderella?”  
  


“If I were Cinderella, would you be my prince, or will you be the glass slipper?”

“Neither. I don’t want to be the prince that searches for you endlessly with that shoe being the only clue of your identity – neither will I want to be the glass slipper that slides off your feet at the most crucial second.”

Jaemin scoots over to Jeno, wrapping him in a warm embrace from behind, pulling him close. Jeno’s stomach fluttered at the feeling of his body pressed against Jaemin’s and he sunk into the warmth of the pink haired boy, sighing contentedly when Jaemin buried his nose into the crook of his neck. His touch made the room seem warmer. His words made his heart race. Jeno turned around to face Jaemin, admiring the pretty face that stared back.

Jaemin locked eyes with him, holding his cheek delicately.

“If you were Cinderella, I’d want to be your fairy godmother, the best one out there – so you could have a magical night that never ends, so that your smile never fades, so that your heart will never break.”

Jaemin kissed him and the world fell away. It was slow and soft – Jaemin’s chapped lips against Jeno’s perfect ones, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below Jeno’s ear, thumb caressing his cheek as their breaths mingled. He could feel himself smile against Jeno’s lips and the giggle that escaped was silenced as Jeno connected their lips together again. He wrapped his hand around the back of Jaemin’s neck, pulling him closer till there was no space left between them and he could feel the beating of his heart against Jaemin’s chest.

_Bliss._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback + kudos appreciated~! me [pretending to be shocked] : oh my god they kissed!!! finally!!


	10. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is rather short because the next chapter would definitely throw you off guard :D

“I’ll go grab a band-aid, wait for me.’”

“Okay.”

He smiled fondly at Jeno who left and carried the dirty dishes to the kitchen after their dinner. While in the process of grilling the meat, his hand touched the hot pan thus scalding him in the process. Worried for him, Jeno left in a hurry to retrieve a Ryan band-aid.

Renjun ran his hands through his hair for the umpteenth time and rang the doorbell of Jaemin’s apartment repeatedly. He sighed, checking the Apple watch on his hand. 8:45PM. Where could he be at this hour?

It wasn’t like Jaemin to ignore him, and Renjun did text him earlier to alert him that he was coming….

Renjun raised his hand to open the door after growing impatient but before it came into contact with the handle, a hand gripped his wrist – causing Renjun’s head to snap towards the owner of the hand.

“Who are you?” They said in unison.

“I’m Jaemin’s friend, Renjun.” The brown haired boy responded calmly.

“Friend? What kind of friend breaks in without knocking first? Liar.”

“Jeno, I can prove to you that I’m actually his friend, you know.”

He raised a brow suspiciously at his words, but his grip relaxed a little.

“You work out, huh? That grip gave it away. And Jaemin always talked about you in his stories about where he grew up. Just you, never his parents. Then again, you grew so much from that picture he showed me, I almost couldn’t recognise you. I knew Jaemin since he was 12, after he moved to Seoul.”

Jeno let go of Renjun’s wrist.

“He was so broken when I met him – he constantly clung to me and was with me whenever I went, he kept talking about how he was afraid. Afraid that I would leave suddenly without telling him,” Renjun chuckled at the fond memories.

“But you do know everything good would come to an end, right?”

“What do you mean?” Jeno gritted his teeth, glaring at the older boy.

Renjun only gave him a slight smile and handed Jeno a white envelope.

“Do me a favour and pass this to him, Jeno. You’re very lucky to have met someone like Jaemin. Treasure the moment while you can,” Renjun said, before patting Jeno’s shoulder as he left.

With trembling hands and a curious heart, Jeno gingerly opened the envelope, wondering what was inside.

_Treasure the moment while you can._

What the heck was that supposed to mean? Hadn’t he treasured the moments he shared with Jaemin?

There was no way he wasn’t in love with Jaemin. The pink haired boy gave him such intense feelings that he felt like he could do anything right then and there. He knew everything Jaemin liked and dislikes – he would munch on white sugar cubes by his bed out of boredom, he would also order his milk tea with 100% sugar, yet he loved his coffee so bitter. Jeno loved the way Jaemin’s eyes light up and sparkle whenever he gets excited, the way he would yell at random times just because, and how he’d hum out of happiness simply because the weather was sunny and to his liking. He loved the way Jaemin would stare so intensely at the person speaking, how his eyes hold nothing but love for the people around him, how he stays strong and makes himself a pillar of support for everyone else. At the same time, Jeno love how he loves others. The quieter Na Jaemin. The Jaemin that lies in bed quietly huddled in his blankets with the air conditioning at 23 degrees and his heating mat switched on – while he has airpods in his ears, listening to music that makes him emotional. Jaemin who overflowed with so much love was just so precious to Jeno. Jaemin who was the literal embodiment of love.

Jeno kept wanting to spend more time with him. Jeno kept wanting to stay by his side. Jeno keep wanting to be with him. To keep Jaemin safe so he would never be hurt again, to make him happy so he would always smile genuinely.

Dep : 20 JUN

Time : 12:30 PM

Seat : 13J

Flight Number : RS701

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feed back and kudos is appreciated~


	11. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the moment when you listen to this playlist and start crying as you read ahahahha [Cat Parents](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5z8r2eS6E4QP624ybGph7z?si=b_T8Y2wrR36VXL5Fxnqd5w)

_Ah, so he found out._

Jaemin smiled sadly and picked up the envelope that had fell to the ground, then threw it onto his table. Sighing, he shoved his feet into his shoes and muttered, “I’m so sorry, Jeno.”

-

“Stupid cat”

_Was Jeno talking to Luna again?_

“Why does he give you so much attention, why is his smile so pretty, why is his voice so calming, why does he look like the prettiest person alive even when tears well up in his eyes, even when he’s drunk, yelling at me like crazy, blabbering nonsense?”

_Holy shit._

“Why is Jaemin… Why does he never tell me he loves me when he tells you that all the time? His eyes are the prettiest feature of his, those long lashes fanning his dark brown eyes… Luna that’s why we don’t have stars in the sky anymore! Jaemin’s eyes hold all the stars in the galaxy, Luna… what should I do if I love him so much it drives me insane?”

“I love him so much that my heart physically hurts, Luna. I love him so, so much.”

Jaemin continued listening intently, ears pricking up to hear every single word that fell from Jeno’s lips.

“Luna? When a day comes that one of us are… separated from one another, you’d guide him to me won’t you, Luna? Like how you came from his balcony on the first day of spring to mine…won’t you?”

Jeno smiled lazily at the cat, a pinkish blush already blooming on his face and he shifted the cat from his lap to the huge bench he was lying on. 

“You’re exactly like him Luna, I love you both so much, but I can’t stay near for a long time because I might get hurt due to the allergies, of course I’m not allergic to Jaemin but... you know he’s like art in a museum, I feel like I can only stare at him so much because I’m afraid he would tear if my fingers came into contact with him,” Jeno paused and grabbed another glass of soju, while knocking over an empty bottle, “Wake me up when Jaemin comes okay? Can’t have him seeing me in this state, drunk and…”

Jeno fell into a pair of strong arms belonging to Jaemin, mumbling under his breath.

_Oh god, Jeno…_

Jaemin’s eyes welled with tears, the walls – the walls that hold him up, the walls that made him strong just collapsed. Moment by moment, they fell, brick by brick. Salty drops fall from his chin, drenching his shirt. Perhaps these tears will help wash away the pain that was tugging on his heartstrings. He pressed his forehead against a sleeping Jeno’s forehead. He looks so delicate and innocent. Jaemin was trembling, he couldn’t stop. Even as he tried to take a deep breath, it still was a shaky one, it trembles. It’s raw, everything was. The tears, the emotions…Jaemin couldn’t stop crying.

_Why can’t I stop?_

Jaemin wrapped a blanket around Jeno and lays down beside him on the rooftop. His eyes focused in the dark, gaze lingering on the sleeping boy beside him. The smell of alcohol rentlessly assaulted his nostrils but Jaemin kept Jeno’s back close to him, nose buried in the crook of his neck. Under all of that alcohol, Jaemin smelt Jeno’s downy fabric softener, the same familiar smell he had grown to love.

Love. Jaemin was in love with Jeno.

He has never once left Jaemin’s mind, he’s always there; mentally if not physically. It’s incomprehensible, he’s Jaemin’s stable driving force, the thing he needed most in the world filled with darkness, chaos, instability. And Jaemin loves Jeno so much for that. It was so frightening, so overwhelming, yet it makes Jaemin feel like home. It has no limits, no depths. It makes Jaemin so light-headed, like he’s at the top of a mountain yet his heart is constricting, and it feels as if there is no oxygen left in his lungs. One person, just one person made him feel this way and that’s Jeno. They went from complete strangers unknowingly taking care of the same cat, to becoming foster parents of one and then being completely infatuated by Jeno. Jeno wasn’t Jaemin’s best friend, he was more than that. He was Jaemin’s happiness, Jaemin’s everything. And Jaemin held Jeno tighter in his arms, afraid of not being able to see him once he woke up.

“Hey, Jeno. Even if we would be miles apart from each other in the future, you know we would still be lying under the same night sky, right? We would be looking at the same stars from different places.”

The moonlight casted a silvery glow on Jeno’s face and he looked like peaceful angel resting, with his eyes shut. His tall nose casted a shadow on his milky pale skin and his lips formed a small pout as he continued to sleep. A small smile hung at his mouth, his lashes looking even longer and thicker. Jaemin’s gaze shifted from Jeno’s sleeping face to the sky, a crescent moon hanging in obsidian blackness.

As if on command, a shooting star arrives right on time, front making its bold way across the spring sky, the tail becoming a fine decoration to accentuate Jeno’s already ethereal beauty. The heavens were never more enchanting than with this transient beauty; a beauty that reminded him of Jeno.

“Jeno, look,” Jaemin started softly.

“It’s a star… a shooting star too, Jeno. See? Not all the stars are in my eyes, there are many, many more stars you didn’t notice because you were too busy looking into mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback and kudos very much appreciated~!
> 
> also fun fact, i wrote this chapter first because i had an inspiration and it started this entire fic :")


	12. 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> playlist : [Cat Parents](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5z8r2eS6E4QP624ybGph7z?si=b_T8Y2wrR36VXL5Fxnqd5w)  
> listening to the playlist while reading might enhance the angst effect hahahhaha
> 
> happy reading <3

“Well then, do we say our last goodbyes here or what?”

“I don’t know, Jeno. You tell me.”

Jaemin smiled at the older boy, then grasped his hands tightly.

“Jeno, thank you for always being together with me until now. I don’t blame you if you start to hate me,” He started, then paused – trying to hold back his tears from streaming down.

“But Jeno, before I leave, please promise me one thing.”

“Jaemin…”

“Take care of yourself, remember to stay warm. Don’t stay up too late, keep Luna by your side if you miss mee too much. Eat your meals on time, don’t always have shin ramyeon cup noodles. Before you leave the house, remember to lock the door and take the key out of the lock,”

Jaemin reached up and stroked Jeno’s head lovingly, before continue speaking softly to the boy who couldn’t hold his tears back.

“Jeno, don’t stay up playing games till ass AM in the morning, remember to take your contacts out before you go to bed. Make sure the air conditioning is above 20 degrees, wrap yourself up well. I’ll promise to come back whenever I can.”

Jeno couldn’t hold himself together.

The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The bitter taste of Jaemin’s americano that lingered on Jeno’s lips. The smell of Jaemin’s perfume – clean warm cotton – which used to be so comforting now felt so strange to Jeno’s nostrils. Everything was just… gone. He paused, trying to hold back the strange feelings rumbling inside but he couldn’t. Not when he was burying his face into the crook of Jaemin’s neck, while Jaemin held him tightly at his waist. A lone tear traced down his cheek.

“Hey, Jeno… it’ll be okay, I love you.”

Just like that, the floodgates opened. So many tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down his face. His chin trembled as if he were 8 years old again, saying goodbye to Jaemin. He breathed heavier than he ever had before. Jeno was gasping for air that was simply not there.

_Don’t go._

His throat burned, forming a silent scream.

_Jaemin… please stay with me like this,_

Is this what crying felt like?

_Forever._

-

“Does he know?”

Jaemin mumbled, mentally scolding himself for being so careless. Of course Jeno would find out sooner or later, but he hadn’t expected him to find out this quickly. Not that Jaemin knew how he were to bring up the subject of leaving to Jeno, but it wasn’t the first time they would be separated without any explanation…

Jaemin walked to the rooftop garden, thinking. It’s been a while since the last time we were separated. Maybe things have changed.

_I am not in love with him_

Jaemin tears his thoughts away from Jeno and think about how he has changed over the years. Spring would soon be coming to an end. It’s a new season, the snow is melting.

_I am not in love with him._

Jaemin’s thoughts were interrupted when he heard Jeno mumbling to himself. His tousled brown hair seemed so soft in the pale moonlight. His angelic, porcelain skin has a faint red flush. His warm brown eyes were full of… _yearning?_

“I love him so much that my heart physically hurts, Luna. I love him so, so much,” Jeno mumbled.

_I am so in love with him._

-

“This is the final boarding call for all passengers booked on flight RS701 to Tokyo, Japan. Please proceed to gate 3 immediately. The final checks are being completed and the captain will order for the doors of the aircraft to close in approximately five minutes. I repeat…”

“Goodbye, Jeno. Thank you for being by my side for all 365 days in the calendar.”

“Jaemin… I-”

He looked back and smiled at the brown haired boy.

“When you miss me, just look at the night sky, we will be sleeping under the same blanket of stars.”

_Jeno couldn’t do it._

“I… Jaemin-ah actually, I-”

_Just do it, say it._

_“_ This is the final boarding call.”

Jaemin knew better than to force those words out of Jeno’s mouth.

“Jaemin, I really need to say this,”

_But I can’t._

“Then say it to me next time, Jeno.”

_I need to say it right now._

“See you.”

_No, wait._

Jaemin turned around and walked further away from Jeno, till all he could see was Jaemin’s back view that disappeared when the gates closed.

_Jaemin… Jaemin I love you._

“For all 365 days in the calendar.”

That was the end of spring,

“I love you too, Jeno.”

And the start of summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback and kudos are greatly appreciated~~ <3


	13. 13 - finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> playlist : [Cat Parents](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5z8r2eS6E4QP624ybGph7z?si=b_T8Y2wrR36VXL5Fxnqd5w)  
> some of y'all wanted a happy ending... i was intending on angst but i hope this is a happy ending for you.... at least as happy as i could write..!! 
> 
> happy reading <3

December the twenty-fifth. It was the time of the year where it started to get more magical, a festive atmosphere hung in the air. Huddled by the fireplace, Jeno sat quietly, sipping on a mug of warm hot chocolate which his cold hands gripped a little too tightly.

Was he doing well?

It has been too long since Jaemin left to peruse his career and once again, Jeno was left all alone. The cackling of the fireplace, along with the Christmas carols playing outside made old memories resurface. In the one year they spent together at kids, Jeno wanted nothing more than to see Jaemin be happy for the rest of his life.

Sighing, Jeno brushed away a tear that fell from his eyes. He missed Jaemin. Of course he did, he missed Jaemin so desperately, willing for Jaemin to come back to him and to melt in his warm embrace. The hot chocolate did not have any effect in warming Jeno up – for it could not compare to the boy’s smile he had longed to see.

_Missing you comes in waves, but tonight… I’m drowning._

Jeno turned towards the window and fixated his gaze on the view outside. The nightline of the city, lights dotted in the dark blanket of roofs, covered by snow so white it shone in the night. Ever since Jaemin left, many things had happened. He moved out of the apartment as well, trying to let go of the thoughts of Jaemin. He was so desperate to get rid of them – but to no avail. He choked back a sob and set his mug down.

Jeno swung open the door of the building and walked down the street, down the path until he stopped short at the apartment where they were reunited. The apartment – now old with age, grew vines that stretched up the red-brick walls. Jeno lifted his head, looking at the rooftop – he could almost hear the sound of laughter, the pretty tinkling bells of Luna’s collar as Jaemin played with her on the warm spring day, his smile brighter than any, his features delicate, distinctive – divine.

He smiled to himself, then pulled his coat over himself and kept on walking, he walked for a good 30 minutes, until he stopped short at the place where it all began. The playground still stood, in it’s abandoned form. He walked over to the swing, ghosting his fingers over the rusted metal chains which held on to plastic seats.

Closing his eyes, he almost could see the sight of it all again, Jaemin’s laughter and sparkling eyes – heck, Jaemin always smiled especially when he was with Jeno, there was never once where he was sad, he was always smiling. Jeno sat down on the plastic seat, earning a creak from the metal chains.

He sat in the darkness, head buried in his hands as he whispered over and over again – the words he never got to say.

“I love you, Jaemin. I miss you, so much.”

Jeno knew it was stupid to keep on waiting on Jaemin like this – maybe Jaemin had already moved on, maybe he found someone better than him. Jeno knew deep down that Jaemin was loyal – and would not love another for a long, long time. But Jeno couldn’t stop thinking about the pink haired boy. Pretty long lashes framed his coffee brown orbs, his voice sounding even more alluring than a nightingale’s and his smile. Jeno’s favourite thing about him – the dazzling smile that warmed his heart all the time.

_When will I ever see it ever agaim…_

Sighing, Jeno stood up from the swing, and walked towards the pavilion. Snow was gathering at the cold stone benches, and he brushed it away with a gloved hand.

“What do you think snow becomes after it melts?”

“Spring. No matter how cold it is now, spring will always come.”

When Jaemin steps from the shadows, Jeno understood why he spoke to him from the darkness. Though his voice is the same, had Jeno seen him first, he would have denied it was Jaemin. Instead of a pretty cherry blossom pink, his hair was raven black. In the split second that he was illuminated by the flickering street-lamp, Jeno’s face changes from shock to elation. Jeno knew if he had a grip of himself, he’d be running forward at this point, throwing himself into Jaemin’s arms – but he couldn’t – so he steps forward, keen that Jaemin shouldn’t go. After so long without him, Jeno thought he would just die if Jaemin leaves now. He needs Jaemin. He hopes Jaemin needs him too. When Jeno tried to speak, his voice falters into unintelligible croaks. Jeno wanted to tell Jaemin he loves him, but he was so, so afraid that Jaemin might not believe him, or that he would sound hollow – considering he was nothing more than an empty vessel now left pining for his lover who will never return – or so he thought.

_Maybe Jaemin’s disappointed in me, he doesn’t know I never gave up thinking about him, never gave up loving in, hoping he’d return._

Then Jeno moves close enough to touch, Jaemin’s eyes are the same, still that vulnerable boy from the playground – the one who Jeno gave a Muzi plaster to back in the warmth of spring. Then his hand raises. Silently, despite the deafening sounds of Jeno’s own heart pounding madly against his ribcage. He was sure Jaemin could hear it too.

And he caresses Jeno’s freshly dyed blue hair like before, the same stroking movements that comforted Jeno when he woke up from a nightmare.

Jeno wished he had at least put on concealer before he left the house and washed his hair in the morning – but Jaemin didn’t seem to mind the tired eyes.

Then he pulls Jeno in for a hug, arms wrapped tightly around his waist, nose buried into the crook of his neck.

“Sorry Jeno, did you wait long?”

And Jeno snaps inside, snaps like brittle glass and he felt the shards tearing at his guts. He can’t speak, the blood leaves his face and he grips at Jaemin’s black winter coat.

Jaemin pulls away from Jeno and watched him break right before his eyes.

Jaemin’s eyes sparkled and he smiled again, this time so warm that Jeno couldn’t help thinking that the snow might really melt.

“Na Jaemin, I love you.”

And in that kiss was the bittersweetness of passion, love, angst. A million loving thoughts by the couple condensed into a moment of their union – at long last, when they look into each other’s eyes – they finally shared the same thought.

“I love you. For all 365 days in the calendar.”

_fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this marks the end of cat parents! thank you to those who have shared your thoughts, comments and support towards my fic, i am so, so glad to have brought this to you. writing this fic was a whole rollercoaster of emotions, but i'm glad to have received many positive feedbacks! i love and appreciate all of you <3 thank you for giving a read to cat parents, here is my twitter and cc if you'd like to leave a little something hehe <3 do leave a kudos or a comment if you like!!!! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/dearmyjaem)   
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/dearmyjaem)


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